- April 4, 2015
People were asked: “What is the smallest lie you’ve ever told which had the biggest consequences?” This was one of the best responses ever:
My girlfriend and I used to buy milk at the 7-11 across the street from our apt, because for whatever reason their gallons of 1% were always a dollar cheaper than the grocery store.
Reza, The young middle eastern guy who managed the store got to know us fairly well, in that we would always greet eachother and occasionally if he saw their stocks of 1% gallons running low he would store one in the back for us because he knew we would always come in at like 2 pm every Sunday for milk. Really nice guy.
The week before we took a vacation, the girlfriend was studying her ass off for her exam, so I did the grocery shopping alone. Because we were leaving mid week for our trip, I only bought a half gallon of milk.
Of fucking course Reza assumes the worst. He assumes that we’ve broken up. He asked where she was and I just kind of grumbled, ready to launch into explaining how her test was tomorrow and whatnot, but before I could he just launched into this whole big apology like he didn’t realize and how he just got divorced and how he misses her every day….I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was just busy today, and that we were leaving for the week so I just went with it.
I didn’t want my gf to think I was a shitbird, so I neglected to tell her when I got home.
Two weeks later, (coincidentally the gf is busy working a weekend shift to make up for our week off) I go back in, grab a gallon of 1%, and quickly realize that looks bad, so I turn around, put the gallon back, and grabbed the half gallon. The whole time Reza is watching me, dejectedly. He starts telling me it gets better, hang in there, we can grab coffee if I want to talk. I politely decline, and quickly realize this lie is going to spiral out of control real fast. I think I told the gf that they were out of gallons and Reza didn’t save us one this week.
In the ensuing weeks, I proceeded to make all efforts to buy milk when the gf wasn’t around. She still didn’t know. I “decided to start working out”, so I was able to justify to Reza the purchase of a gallon of 1%. We would normally chat for a few minutes and we would ask each other how things were and We would both give vague answers and wish eachother well and be on our way.
Eventually, one day the gf goes to 7-11 on her own when I wasn’t around. I guess Reza helped her, made small talk, but was definitely weird towards her. She texts me about it and at this point I knew the gig jig was up and I had to come clean. When I get home I explain everything to her, and she laughs, calls me an idiot, but at the same time thought it was cute for me to keep up the facade and commiserate with Reza, who was clearly dealing with some of his own issues.
She decided that we needed to stage a reunion. So the following Sunday, we waltzed in, arm in arm, looking cheery. We could feel his eyes following us around the room, I made eye contact with him once or twice, he was trying desperately and failing to hold back the biggest knowing grin I’ve ever seen. Finally we go to check out and he starts wringing his hands and finally bursts out about he was rooting for us and how happy he was that we worked it out.
The look of excitement and happiness on Reza’s face was probably one of the most uplifting moments I’ve ever had. He told us repeatedly how we give him hope and how not the whole world is evil…holy crap.
Glad we could help you Reza, sorry I lied about the milk.