Only British people will find these money realities funny

  • Feeling accomplished if you can get your petrol/diesel spend dead on the pound at pump including wiggling nozzle for last few drops.
  • Trying the cash machine anyway when the person in front of you say that it isn’t working.
  • Always asking for ‘a few’ BBQ sauces at McDonalds in the hope they give you more than 1 or 2.
  • The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector
  • Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands
  • Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck
  • Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change
  • Constantly comparing the prices of confectionary to when you were younger. e.g. Freddos used to be 10p
  • Asking the bouncers at the nightclub to stamp both hands & even your arms so you’re guaranteed to get back in
  • Realising that the free eye tests from the NHS probably was needed
  • Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again
  • Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you ordered
  • The overwhelming impulse to walk to a different bit of platform once you see the train arriving
  • Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”
  • When you visit London and the barman tries to charge you £6 for a pint of beer
  • When you find that someone at the supermarket has re-arranged the spices to spell something rude
  • The sober realisation when your mystery free parcels arriveenhanced-23615-1403007910-5
  • Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible
  • Not being charged for a 5p bag and thinking you’re basically in the same criminal leagues as the Kray twins
  • Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink
  • Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing
  • Never asking for Domino’s Dips until after you’ve paid in the hope they will give you them for free instead of charging you £1 for 3
  • Paying with a £20 note and saying, “sorry that’s all I’ve got” then fumbling through your wallet again just to prove it
  • Actively asking strangers in the street where the nearest free cash point is
  • Filming an entire fireworks display / concert on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again
  • Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door
  • Paying the restaurant bill for a meal you really hated and then when the waiter/waitress says “was everything OK with your meal?” you reply “Yes, was good thank you”, then complain to all your family/friends who ask about the meal.
  • Where do you want to eat? “It’s up to you” – Translation: Keep suggesting things until you say the thing I’d like to do
  • Going outside of the club to find your mate who hasn’t paid to enter the club yet, licking your entry stamp on your hand & squeezing your hands together so the stamp smudge on to your mate’s hand so they don’t have to pay.
  • The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about and then the secret microwaving of said cup
  • Using a vending machine purely because you think you might be able to knock down the stuck item to get it for free
  • After a night out, instead of getting a costly takeaway coming home for tea & toast
  • Seeing someone with a Scottish bank note and hearing someone in the bar saying “It’s legal tender”
  • Panicking if someone gives you a Scottish banknote
  • “They didn’t have any” – Translation: I forgot to look
  • “Do you fancy a couple of pints” – Translation: You and I both know that we won’t stop at two pints, let’s get pissed
  • Saying “Hello” when the staff at the bar have seemingly ignored you and served everyone else before you
  • Shrugging & shaking your head with the person next to you at the bar whilst you both wait to be served
  • When you get your MOT done and the mechanic is honest about your carenhanced-20835-1403002392-13
  • Get called Sir/Madam in McDonlads and feeling posh
  • Buying Lucozade only when you’re hungover
  • Using a self service machine in a shop and clutching your receipt like your life depends on it when walking past the security guard
  • Saying thank you to the cashpoint as you walk away
  • “Just popping out to get some lunch, does anyone want anything?”, someone says yes and you genuinely hate them
  • Telling your younger siblings / children the noise the ice-cream van makes is only when they’ve run out of ice-cream
  • Your relatives telling you “give me three rings” when you get home so it doesn’t cost either of you money
  • “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it
  • “I thought it’d be nice to go out and enjoy the sun” – Translation: I want to go to the pub
1 comment

Be a financial rockstar and share this with your friends, family and co-workers to maximise savings:

More posts:

Important things to remember with everything we post:

  • If you earn over your personal allowance (currently £12,570 a year) HMRC need to get their % cut (even if the money is in cash or from another country)
  • If you’re working for yourself / earning an income on the side you need to let HMRC know – There are numerous benefits but also some drawbacks
  • You need to always ensure whatever you’re doing is legal and not hurting anyone else – be careful and always think twice
  • Some income streams may require you to have DBS check, licence, insurance or qualifications before you can start to profit from it, do your research.
  • Be careful that any additional income doesn’t compromise your studies or main income/job
  • If you work for a company check your contract, if you don’t inform them you’re working on other side projects outside of work they may have grounds to ownership on this work

Most popular this month

More 10ways posts:

Legendary Deals:

Remember to follow us!